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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015705">you're more than just a heartbeat (in a world that forgets to love)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/justprompts/pseuds/justprompts'>justprompts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>watching you run into the high noon sun [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blaise Zabini is a Good Friend, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Good Slytherins, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Loss, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Not Epilogue Compliant, POV Multiple, Rare Pairings, Slytherins Being Slytherins, Supportive Ron Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:54:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,344</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015705</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/justprompts/pseuds/justprompts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"To <em>Loony fucking Lovegood</em>," Theo says, holding the cigarette in his hand like a toast. "Wherever she is, may she be alive and barmy, like always."</p><p>
  <span>Weaslette side-eyes him.</span>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini, Luna Lovegood/Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott/Ginny Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>watching you run into the high noon sun [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104587</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. in a kinder world, we would already be in love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><em>look</em> who's back with another fic they'll never manage completing シ︎ but i wanted to do one with rare pairs idkw and i liked these so i just wrote it and just sorta put it up 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>___________</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>Dear Mr. Malfoy, </em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for Year 8.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Draco looked at the owl at the window. He looked at his shaky fingers and the inkpot. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>And he thought, </span>
  <span>
    <em>just one last time.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <span>______________</span>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Eighth Year started with a series of unlucky happenings.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>Maybe, I won't even be invited back to school.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Draco got his Hogwarts Letter right on time.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>Maybe, the Slytherin Dorms won't be too bad.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Eighth Years were being shifted to a new dorm completely, along with Private Rooms that accommodated two people.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>Maybe, just maybe, I'll have a Ravenclaw roommate who won't care about me at all, or a Hufflepuff who won't wet his pants when he sees me.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>So, of course, Draco got Potter.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Draco got Potter, and Draco got a Time Table with Muggle Studies mandatorily added to it, and Draco got Severus's Will. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He imagined being Snape for a second, writing down his own will, like he was expecting death, sitting in Dumbledore's Office, traitor to practically all. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Mcgonagall had shot him an odd look as she gave him Severus's Will, but that was only to be expected. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Everybody</em>
  </span>
  <span> shot him odd looks, like they couldn't believe he's come back. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Most times, Draco couldn't believe it himself.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>___________</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He finds the paintings completely by chance. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>It scares Draco, even now, as he wonders what would have happened if Muggle Studies were optional, if he had clicked another link instead of this one on the </span>
  <span>
    <em>in-ter-net. </em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>If he hadn’t seen the paintings properly. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>If he hadn’t noticed the scratches in the illustrations, the terrifying colors and intense shading - if he hadn’t heard the silent screams behind the brush strokes.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Because, there, right on the screen, there's a photograph of a 12×10" canvas in crimson red, and a woman - a woman who Draco recognizes instantly, if not because she was family, but from his nightmares.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>The painting is done in rough charcoal, every curl, every stitch on the woman's robe done with harsh, bold lines.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Because, this painting. This painting is a proof that there's someone out there, someone who’s drawing this, someone who is painting a portrait of -</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>The woman's eyes are dark and empty, even as red light surrounds her, even as shadows flit across her face, her mouth contorted in an open snarl -</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Draco swallows, his heart beating fast, as he surfs the blog, painting after painting after painting, all of them telling a story, a story that Draco knows, that he never thought he would hear again.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>There's a boy in one of them, a boy with a shock of white-blonde hair and terrified eyes -</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Draco feels like he can't breathe.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>There are prison bars and dark corners, sharp knives and broken mirrors -</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>His hands are trembling.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>There's one in the sun, with flowers and the sea, closed eyes and yellow dresses and shoes -</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Draco's knuckles are white as he clenches his fists.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He knows that woman. He knows that dark cellar. He knows that yellow dress. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Potter?" Draco begins, his voice a little broken. Potter jerks his head up from where he'd been pouring over a Defense Book on his bed, looking startled, because Draco's never initiated any conversation ever before. "What happened to Lovegood after the war?"</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Potter blanches slightly, before his mouth sets in grim lines.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"She went missing," he replies, with a sad twitch of his lips. "Nobody knows if she just went on her own, or if she was, </span>
  <span>
    <em>taken</em>
  </span>
  <span>. Auror Department's still on the case."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Draco nods, "Thanks," he mumbles, feeling tense, anticipation crawling over his shoulders.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>___________</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Luna is a strange girl.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Hailey knows that. Everybody knows that. Everybody </span>
  <span>
    <em>objectively </em>
  </span>
  <span>knows that Luna is strange and sweet, in her own sense.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>She stays with Hailey, who'd found her walking someways off the woods in the area, she works mornings at Hailey's small Coffee Café, called </span>
  <span>
    <em>The Friendly Bean, </em>
  </span>
  <span>and flits about afternoons in the park. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>She's back by the evening, everyday, and she spends all the money she's paid on art supplies and food, because Hailey pays for mostly everything else. She doesn't even mind, because Luna is pleasant to be around, if not slightly eccentric.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>She's amnesiac, or so Hailey's deduced, because she doesn't remember anything about her past, doesn't have many memories, aside from her name. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Hailey had taken her to the Police, gotten down everything written, but till then, she's living with Hailey. Luna refused to go to the Hospital so strongly, that ultimately, Hailey let it go.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>She's kind, and a good listener, and Hailey had room, so.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Her paintings </span>
  <span>
    <em>are</em>
  </span>
  <span> kind of scary, but she covers the easels with old bedsheets before sleeping, so that's fine, too. Hailey often wonders why Luna never completed her studying, because she seems extremely smart, if asked the right questions.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Your paintings look so </span>
  <span>
    <em>tortured</em>
  </span>
  <span>," Hailey says, with a dramatic shudder, one day, as she sees the woman in the biggest one, with dark, curly hair and red light around her.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Tortured," Luna sings, airily. "I don't think that's the correct word here."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"They </span>
  <span>
    <em>feel </em>
  </span>
  <span>tortured, though, don't they?" Hailey asks, shrugging and dumping her satchel on the ground.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"</span>
  <span>
    <em>Feel tortured</em>
  </span>
  <span>," Luna echoes again, her eyes wide and confused. "I think I know what you mean."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Hailey sometimes thinks she knows </span>
  <span>
    <em>too</em>
  </span>
  <span> much. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Her eyes are very </span>
  <span>
    <em>old</em>
  </span>
  <span>.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Where'd you get these ideas from, Luna?" Hailey asks, instead. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Oh, they're in my head," Luna says, easily, making Hailey feel very uneasy. "My thoughts are very free. They like wandering about. But they haven't been doing that, nowadays. I think they're trapped."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Hailey tries to understand, but she probably fails.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"It's very difficult being trapped," Luna continues. "Especially if you're </span>
  <span>
    <em>alone."</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>___________</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>The first time Harry Potter really </span>
  <span>
    <em>sees</em>
  </span>
  <span> Blaise Zabini, they're in Eighth Year.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Harry’s always been vaguely aware of his existence, a quiet, shadowed boy, on the fringes of Slytherin - and often, Harry’s thought that if he </span>
  <span>
    <em>wasn't</em>
  </span>
  <span> the Boy Who Lived, that's what he would be like. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Quiet, neutral, </span>
  <span>
    <em>invisible</em>
  </span>
  <span>. Maybe it would even be nice, for once, to not be in the thick of things.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>The day after Draco leaves - (and yes, Harry </span>
  <span>
    <em>is</em>
  </span>
  <span> well aware that Draco's gone, that he's not in Hogwarts anymore, but he really can't be bothered with looking for him now) - Harry enters the Great Hall to chaos.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>It's loud, and Harry can hear whispered, </span>
  <span>
    <em>spiteful</em>
  </span>
  <span> remarks, can hear tiny proofs that Voldemort wasn't </span>
  <span>
    <em>all</em>
  </span>
  <span> that was wrong with the Wizarding World.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He takes his seat next to Ron, who's frowning at the </span>
  <span>
    <em>Daily Prophet </em>
  </span>
  <span>paper in front of him. Hermione's scowling, too, glaring somewhere in the direction of the Hufflepuff Table.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Hey, Ron," Harry says, picking up a toast, and pulling the newspaper towards him. In bold, black letters, it announces,</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span class="u">WIZENGAMOT RULES FOR ADMINISTERING DEMENTOR'S KISS </span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>
      <span class="u">THADDEUS NOTT TO BE KISSED ON SATURDAY </span>
    </em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"It's </span>
  <span>
    <em>barbaric</em>
  </span>
  <span>," Hermione says, heatedly, turning to look at the paper. "I </span>
  <span>
    <em>can't</em>
  </span>
  <span> believe they </span>
  <span>
    <em>still</em>
  </span>
  <span> do this. I thought they'd ruled out the Kiss ages ago."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Was Nott even one of the big followers?" Ron begins, looking disgusted. "</span>
  <span>I don't remember him ever causing much trou - "</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"That's </span>
  <span>
    <em>not</em>
  </span>
  <span> the point, </span>
  <span>
    <em>Ronald</em>
  </span>
  <span>," Hermione snaps, sharply. "And of course, that's not it," she lowered her voice a little, leaning her head down. "He was one of the </span>
  <span>
    <em>original</em>
  </span>
  <span> ones, wasn't he? The ones' who were with Tom Riddle in school. After all </span>
  <span>
    <em>that</em>
  </span>
  <span> bit of the story came out, it was only natural that they find a way to... you know - "</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Get him out of the way," Harry finishes, feeling slightly sick. "</span>
  <span>
    <em>Permanently</em>
  </span>
  <span>. Of course."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>There's a sudden yell from the Slytherin Table, and Harry jerks up to look Blaise Zabini standing near the wall, his hands gripping some seventh year's collar, pushing him up against it.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He looks fairly murderous. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Harry realises that he's never seen Zabini look anything but bored and haughty, and has certainly never seen </span>
  <span>
    <em>that </em>
  </span>
  <span>expression on his face. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"</span>
  <span>
    <em>Say that again, </em>
  </span>
  <span>and to my </span>
  <span>
    <em>face</em>
  </span>
  <span>, this time," Zabini snarls, jostling the boy. "What the </span>
  <span>
    <em>fuck </em>
  </span>
  <span>did you just say to Theo?"</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Mr. Zabini," Mcgonagall starts, her voice crisp and warning, standing up at the Head's Table and craning her neck to see them. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Zabini ignores her.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Blaise, </span>
  <span>
    <em>let go</em>
  </span>
  <span>," another voice says, and Nott's getting up, too, shaking Zabini off the boy, even as he sends a sneer in the boy's direction. "It's not worth it."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"</span>
  <span>
    <em>Oh</em>
  </span>
  <span>, it's </span>
  <span>
    <em>definitely</em>
  </span>
  <span> worth it," Zabini laughs a little, and Harry watches almost in slow motion as he swings his fist back, "I don't care what you say about whom, you </span>
  <span>
    <em>fucking</em>
  </span>
  <span> idiot, but keep my </span>
  <span>
    <em>Mother</em>
  </span>
  <span> and Theo </span>
  <span>
    <em>out of it,</em>
  </span>
  <span>" he says and his fist crashes against the seventh year's face with a resounding crack of broken bone.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>And then, his rage seemingly evaporates, as he leaves the boy, who's clutching his nose and groaning in pain - Blaise Zabini grabs his satchel off the table, brushes non-existent dust off his robes, and walks out of the Great Hall.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Harry is unwittingly impressed.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>_______________</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Theodore Nott doesn't want to watch his Father being kissed.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He doesn't want to see his Father's </span>
  <span>
    <em>soul being sucked out.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>It's a very understandable wish, but then again, </span>
  <span>
    <em>when has the Wizarding World been understandable?</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He's ashamed but he still grips Blaise's hand tight, still ignores the mixed glances he gets from the Ministry Officials and a few others, some disgust, most loathing, </span>
  <span>
    <em>some fearful, some pity - </em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>His Father locks his eyes with him, his face grimy and eyes even more hollow than Theo remembers, his wrists clearly burning under the shackles, hands trembling violently.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>The Dementor's shadow looms over his face, and Theo shakes his grip off Blaise - and </span>
  <span>
    <em>runs.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He can't do this.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>His Father may have been quite literally one of the worst Fathers in the world, but Theo can't. He </span>
  <span>
    <em>can't</em>
  </span>
  <span>. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He sweeps the door open, and runs down the Hall. He's started getting some dirty looks.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>He can't do this</em>
  </span>
  <span>.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>"Its because your mother raised a coward</em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>," </em>
  </span>
  <span>his Father whispers in his head, and Theo laughs a little hysterically, that helpless kind of laugh that comes out when nothing's right, when everything hurts. </span>
  <span>
    <em>"Before she died like a weakling herself and left me her burden."</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He stumbles out on the fire escape balcony, grip white on the railing, and stares below, sucking in deep breaths, trying not to puke. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Who knows what they'd do to </span>
  <span>
    <em>him </em>
  </span>
  <span>if he threw up on Ministry property? Azkaban, maybe. He is, after all, the </span>
  <span>
    <em>last</em>
  </span>
  <span> Nott left. </span>
  <span>
    <em>What's the point, though? </em>
  </span>
  <span>What's the point of him living, anyway? It's not like anyone wants him there, like he's useful to anyone or -</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>Blaise, </em>
  </span>
  <span>his brain says, firmly. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Blaise. Pansy. Draco. </em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>Don't even fucking think about it. Blaise. Pansy.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>
    <em>"You can't stop the waves, mijo," </em>
  </span>
  <span>Theo remembers his mother saying, her voice soft but her accent harsh at the same time. </span>
  <span>
    <em>"But you can learn to ride them."</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He doesn't want to ride anymore -</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"I jumped off the Ravenclaw Tower, once," someone says, right behind him, and he stifles a gasp. He </span>
  <span>
    <em>hadn't </em>
  </span>
  <span>been thinking of jumping, he hadn’t,</span>
  <span>
    <em> he hadn’t</em>
  </span>
  <span>. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Theo turns around to see, </span>
  <span>
    <em>oh</em>
  </span>
  <span>.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>The girl Weasley.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>She's leaning against the parapet behind him, wearing formal robes, in a heavy blue, smiling a little hesitantly, like she doesn't know if she ought to.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Your magic will save you," she continued, shrugging. "There's </span>
  <span>
    <em>no</em>
  </span>
  <span> point, trust me."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"I wasn't going to," he denies, quickly, </span>
  <span>
    <em>too</em>
  </span>
  <span> quickly. She passes him a knowing smirk. "I wasn't," he snaps, again, and turns back to the balcony. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>His heartbeat is somehow a little slower.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Why're you here?" Theo asks, in a desperate attempt to either send her away or stop her from asking him anything. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Carrows' Trial," she says, shortly. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He flinches slightly, but doesn't look back. He's too afraid that he'll see disgust there, too. He doesn't know why it matters.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"I meant </span>
  <span>
    <em>here</em>
  </span>
  <span>," Theo stresses. "Here, on the fire escape."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"I saw you running," she says. "Figured you'd come here."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Theo doesn't understand </span>
  <span>
    <em>why</em>
  </span>
  <span> she felt the need to follow </span>
  <span>
    <em>him.</em>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Oh," he says, instead, swallowing.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"I wanted to say something to you, anyway," she continues, and his heart sinks. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He's really not in the mood for another '</span>
  <span>
    <em>cowardly slytherin' </em>
  </span>
  <span>and '</span>
  <span>
    <em>your father's scum and so are you' </em>
  </span>
  <span>speech. He isn't sure he'll be able to take it without reacting, and reacting in anyway whatsoever to something that's said </span>
  <span>
    <em>by Boy Wonder's girlfriend</em>
  </span>
  <span> could ruin his life. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He braces himself.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"I know you sent that last medical kit to the D.A," she says, matter-of-factly, and he spins around, eyes wide. "Hannah saw you leaving it under the arch before Neville crossed so that he'd see it."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He clenches and unclenches his jaw.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"I didn't," Theo replies tersely. "I don't know what you're talking about."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He's lying, but </span>
  <span>
    <em>hey - </em>
  </span>
  <span>atleast he has his dignity. Sort of.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"That's exactly what a person who </span>
  <span>
    <em>did</em>
  </span>
  <span> know what I was talking about would say," she says, and makes her way to Theo, crosses her legs, and flops down on the balcony, swinging her feet off.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Theo stares at her incredulously, as she shrugs off her cloak, and pulls out a packet of ciggies and a muggle lighter </span>
  <span>from her front pocket.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Join me?" she asks, lightly, like they're </span>
  <span>
    <em>friends, </em>
  </span>
  <span>like his Father isn't being </span>
  <span>
    <em>Kissed</em>
  </span>
  <span> inside.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>He surprises himself, when he sits down, but she doesn't look fazed, just passes him a fag.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"When I jumped off the Ravenclaw Tower," she says, inhaling deep. "I couldn't actually touch the ground. I just sort of, got - er, </span>
  <span>
    <em>suspended</em>
  </span>
  <span> a foot above. But I made a friend."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Theo wonders if this is her way of saying </span>
  <span>
    <em>they're</em>
  </span>
  <span> friends now.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Theo also wonders if he has a choice in this.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Luna," Weaslette says, taking a drag and blowing out. "I </span>
  <span>
    <em>fucking </em>
  </span>
  <span>miss her."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Where'd she go?" Theo asks, not trying to hide that he's only vaguely aware of Lovegood's existence - that too, only because she's sort of crazy and Blaise likes doing the crossword in the </span>
  <span>
    <em>Quibbler</em>
  </span>
  <span>. "Run away to live with the woodland creatures?"</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"I </span>
  <span>
    <em>wish</em>
  </span>
  <span>," she replies, a small, sad smile on her face. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Theo suddenly really wants to make her smile widen a bit.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"She wouldn't, though," she says, and her smile disappears. "She would tell us, not just up and leave. Hermione and Harry think she was taken. Right after the Battle, a lot of snatchers escaped. So many unmarked Death Eaters apparated away to </span>
  <span>
    <em>fuck knows where</em>
  </span>
  <span>."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Theo likes that she doesn't mince her words, doesn't wince and pass him an apologetic look when she says Death Eaters. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>It makes him feel that she doesn't think of him like that, doesn't put him in </span>
  <span>
    <em>that</em>
  </span>
  <span> category. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>It's a nice feeling.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"To </span>
  <span>
    <em>Loony fucking Lovegood</em>
  </span>
  <span>," Theo says, holding the cigarette in his hand like a toast. "May she be alive and barmy, like always."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>Weaslette side-eyes him.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>"Amen to that, </span>
  <span>
    <em>arsehole</em>
  </span>
  <span>," she says and Theo grins for the first time since, well. He can't remember since when, but it's a nice feeling.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span>_____________</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. wandering around, wondering about you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>idkw rare pairings are appealing to me so much rn,, it's probably a phase lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>_____________</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>The first time Harry Potter really </span>
  <span>
    <em>talks </em>
  </span>
  <span>to Blaise Zabini, it's a day after he decks the Slytherin boy in the Great Hall.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Harry’s nearing the door to Ron and Zabini's shared room, when he hears shocked muttering.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>He enters the room, and they're both sitting on the opposite sides of a Wizarding Chess Set, Zabini with his left ankle placed on his right knee, looking smug as shit, and Ron leaning forward and simultaneously looking both annoyed and impressed.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"</span>
  <span>
    <em>Checkmate</em>
  </span>
  <span>," Zabini crows, and Harry’s mouth falls open, as Ron watches his King fall. </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Harry’s almost sure Ron’s never had to see this.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"I have to go now, </span>
  <span>
    <em>peasants</em>
  </span>
  <span>," Zabini jumps to his feet, a distinct and highly amusing air of false modesty around him, as he checks his watch. It's a gold and green thing, and Harry’s sure it would have snakes on it. "I'm afraid I have </span>
  <span>
    <em>detention,</em>
  </span>
  <span>" he sing-songs, looking quite proud.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"I'll come with," Harry blurts out, like an idiot. </span><br/>
<br/>
<span>Zabini and Ron both stare at him.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"It's with Hagrid, isn't it?" Harry plows on, like a </span>
  <span>
    <em>bigger </em>
  </span>
  <span>idiot. How's he supposed to explain why he knew that? Why </span>
  <span>
    <em>did </em>
  </span>
  <span>he know that, anyway?</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Yes," Zabini says, stretching out the vowel. </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>There's a long pause.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Let's go, then," Harry croaks out, finally. "I haven't visited him since really long."</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Alright, Potter," Zabini says, and smiles slowly, bemusedly.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>_____________</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Draco glances up at the signboard outside the peach and white walled café, confirming the location once more. This is it.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<em>
    <span>
      <strong>༆</strong>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span class="u">
      <span>The Friendly Bean</span>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>𖣔</span>
  </em><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>He pushes the door in, jingling bells announcing his arrival, and walks up to the counter.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>The girl standing there smiles politely as he comes in, one hand hurriedly twisting her red hair up into a bun. Her tag reads </span>
  <span>
    <em>'Hailey' </em>
  </span>
  <span>and Draco wonders if he should ask her.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>Maybe he should order first. Muggles would do that, right?</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Welcome to the Friendly Bean," she greets, as he nears. "What can I get for you today?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"I...uh," Draco stumbles a little, </span>
  <span>
    <em>what do Muggles drink? </em>
  </span><br/>
<br/>
<span>She takes pity on him, and points to a pamphlet on the counter. "Today's special is Velvet Vanilla Latte, if you would like that...?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Yeah," Draco croaks out, having almost no idea what she's talking about. </span>
  <span>
    <em>Velvet? </em>
  </span>
  <span>"Yes, I'll have that."</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>She stares at him a moment longer, and then turns to the screen. Now </span>
  <span>
    <em>that, </em>
  </span>
  <span>that Draco sort of knows about. </span><br/>
<br/>
<span>He's almost sure their Muggle Studies curriculum is flawed, if he knows more about the internet than '</span>
  <span>
    <em>how to order in a muggle café 101</em>
  </span>
  <span>.'</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"You can take a seat if you like," she says, gesturing to the back. "I'll get your order in a moment. We're slightly short staffed today, so, I'm sorry if there's any delay."</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"No problem," he says, surprisingly evenly, and goes and sits at the back.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>Hailey comes back with a drink in less than five minutes, and again, as she puts down the cup, she stares at him oddly, eyes narrowing a little.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"May I help you?" Draco asks, and she blinks, and looks away, a flush rising on her face. </span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Oh, I'm sorry, its just," she says, shaking her head and frowning.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>He raises his eyebrows questioningly.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"It's just, it's kind of </span>
  <span>
    <em>silly</em>
  </span>
  <span>, you don't even seem to be from around here," she says, quickly. "My friend. She paints a lot. And I could have </span>
  <span>
    <em>sworn</em>
  </span>
  <span> that in one of her paintings, there's a little boy who looks </span>
  <span>
    <em>just </em>
  </span>
  <span>like - "</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Friend?" Draco interrupts, trying to tamp down his excitement - </span>
  <span>
    <em>he's f</em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>ound her! - </em>
  </span>
  <span>and starts getting up. "You </span>
  <span>
    <em>know</em>
  </span>
  <span> Lovegood?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Lovegood?" Hailey asks, looking a little wary.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Yes," Draco says, slowly. "</span>
  <span>
    <em>Luna Lovegood</em>
  </span>
  <span>. She's, </span>
  <span>
    <em>she's -</em>
  </span>
  <span> we studied in the same school."</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>That's a </span>
  <span>
    <em>very</em>
  </span>
  <span> big oversimplification of their </span>
  <span>
    <em>very </em>
  </span>
  <span>strange and non-existent relationship.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Lovegood," she says, absently nodding. "Suits her. Did you come here looking for her?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"I - yes. Yes, I did," Draco admits.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"You should be prepared, then," Hailey tells him, looking uncomfortable, but determined. "I don’t think you know, but she's - she's sort of. Lost her memory."</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>Draco freezes.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Lost her </span>
  <span>
    <em>memory</em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em>?" </em>
  </span>
  <span>he echoes, anxiety laced into the words. </span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"She doesn't remember </span>
  <span>
    <em>anything</em>
  </span>
  <span> about herself other than her name," Hailey says, and Draco feels a sinking in his stomach, a chill down his spine. "What she does remember, she </span>
  <span>
    <em>dreams</em>
  </span>
  <span> of, and then, she paints it. I came across her completely by chance."</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Oh," Draco says, with a hollow laugh. "Atleast that explains why she never came back."</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Why </span>
  <span>
    <em>who</em>
  </span>
  <span> never came back?" an airy voice says from behind them, a voice that Draco hasn't heard in months -</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Luna," Hailey says, surprised.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Fucking </span>
  <span>
    <em>hell</em>
  </span>
  <span>, Lovegood," Draco says, turning around, shaking his head. </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>And there she is. </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Looking almost the same as she did before the war, her hair blonde and wavy, falling in curls on her waist, wearing a white shirt with blue muggle denim jeans. There's </span>
  <span>
    <em>something</em>
  </span>
  <span> different about her face, though. </span><br/>
<br/>
<span>Draco remembers Luna's face as </span>
  <span>
    <em>mild</em>
  </span>
  <span>, with something so </span>
  <span>
    <em>unassuming</em>
  </span>
  <span> and dreamy in her eyes. </span><br/>
<br/>
<span>It's still like that, but it's a different kind of </span>
  <span>
    <em>lost</em>
  </span>
  <span>, a </span>
  <span>
    <em>different</em>
  </span>
  <span> kind of unassuming. </span><br/>
<br/>
<span>It's the unassuming kind of expression that people show </span>
  <span>
    <em>strangers</em>
  </span>
  <span>.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>The one that lacks knowledge, too, not just judgement.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>It's a look that doesn't suit a Ravenclaw, and for all that Draco knows about her, he knows that she is a </span>
  <span>
    <em>true</em>
  </span>
  <span> Ravenclaw.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Luna passes him a curious look, her eyes wide as she searches his face. </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"We've got</span>
  <span>
    
  </span>
  <span>to stop meeting like this," Draco says, swallowing. "Why is it that </span>
  <span>
    <em>whenever</em>
  </span>
  <span> we meet, you're either in mortal peril, or you simply don't remember anything?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"</span>
  <span>
    <em>Remember</em>
  </span>
  <span> anything," Luna echoes, and something flickers in her eyes. "I wouldn't say I don't remember </span>
  <span>
    <em>anything</em>
  </span>
  <span>. After all, the nargles have been leading you because I told them to, haven't they?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Draco laughs incredulously.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"They sure have," he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "</span>
  <span>
    <em>Whatever</em>
  </span>
  <span> you say."</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>______________</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"</span>
  <span>
    <em>So</em>
  </span>
  <span>, Potter," Zabini says, after an hour of comfortable shoveling. Well, he's shoveling, and Harry’s watching and talking to Hagrid, but it's the same thing. "</span>
  <span>
    <em>Are</em>
  </span>
  <span> you gay?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Harry sputters, blinking at him.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"I, I - I'm </span>
  <span>
    <em>not</em>
  </span>
  <span>," he stammers, belatedly. "Why would you think - </span>
  <span>
    <em>no! </em>
  </span>
  <span>Besides, aren't you Slytherins supposed to be more </span>
  <span>
    <em>tactful</em>
  </span>
  <span> than </span>
  <span>
    <em>this</em>
  </span>
  <span>?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>His voice isn't as even as he'd like it to be. It </span>
  <span>
    <em>was </em>
  </span>
  <span>a very random question.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Well, we've all seen how </span>
  <span>
    <em>Slytherin</em>
  </span>
  <span> can ruin the world," Zabini says, his voice bitter, and wipes sweat off his brow. Harry follows the movement, his throat feeling dry. "Gryffindors barge right in, don't they?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"I, I suppose so," Harry mumbles, trying to force his eyes away from Zabini's arms. Except, they're so </span>
  <span>
    <em>toned and tanned -</em>
  </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"It's not always the best though, is it," Harry continues, hurriedly, when Zabini doesn't reply. "Slytherin's important. It's not like a Gryffindor </span>
  <span>
    <em>never</em>
  </span>
  <span> needs to be smart. Or that a Slytherin never needs to be brave. None of us have a </span>
  <span>
    <em>monopoly</em>
  </span>
  <span> on our House qualities."</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Zabini stops and stares at Harry. Then,</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Are you </span>
  <span>
    <em>sure</em>
  </span>
  <span> you're not gay?" he asks, looking completely sincere.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"</span>
  <span>
    <em>No!"</em>
  </span>
  <span> Harry says, panicking for a reason that he can't yet explain. Something about the word, something about that </span>
  <span>
    <em>label </em>
  </span>
  <span>scares him. "I mean, </span>
  <span>
    <em>yes</em>
  </span>
  <span>. Yes, I'm </span>
  <span>
    <em>sure </em>
  </span>
  <span>I'm not gay."</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>The other boy eyes him for a second more, before turning away and hauling up the shovel.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"That's a shame," Zabini says, looking bored again, and Harry can't quite summon up the </span>
  <span>
    <em>gryffindor</em>
  </span>
  <span>
    <em> courage </em>
  </span>
  <span>to ask him what </span>
  <span>
    <em>that </em>
  </span>
  <span>means.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>_____________</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Theo sits with Weaslette for as long as he possibly can. It's definitely better than the alternative.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Blaise comes to get him back, too soon.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Theo," Blaise says, clearing his throat. "Your Father's possessions."</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>Theo looks at him.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"You have to collect them," Blaise clarifies, nods once to Weaslette and leaves.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>______________</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Theo's never really imagined this part of the Kiss. The after part. The </span>
  <span>
    <em>later </em>
  </span>
  <span>part.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>It's somehow even worse. It's treated clinically, the Aurors nodding curt and crisp as they hand him his Father's robes. His Death Eater Mask is missing, and so is his wand. Theo doesn't want to touch these either.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>Blaise gives him a reassuring nod, Mrs. Zabini hugs him. Pansy looks almost worse than Theo feels, though he can't think why at the moment.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>They go to Hogwarts through the Ministry Floo. Theo watches them leave.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>
    <em>He</em>
  </span>
  <span> goes back to the Manor, and dumps the clothes on the couch, hating everything and everyone.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Weaslette laughs in his head, full and loud and earthy. It's calming.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Mcgonagall's given him a leave for two days. Which means, Theo still has to go back to school in a day more. It seems too soon, like everything.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Bobsy," he calls, and smiles a little as the tiny elf appears. He's </span>
  <span>
    <em>Theo's</em>
  </span>
  <span> elf, the one who raised him. Theo wouldn't admit it, but he's got a soft spot for him. "Would you make me a cup of tea?"</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Only with pancakes, Master Theo," Bobsy replies, which strikes Theo as a little odd. Not the pancakes part, because Bobsy knows Theo loves them, but the -</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>Bobsy comes back with a stacked tray of chocolate pancakes, and tea which Theo can already smell.</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"I told you to call me Theo, didn't I?" he asks, conversationally, blowing on the pancakes to cool it. "You've been calling me Theo since I was ten."</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>"Bobsy can't anymore, Master Theo," he replies, wringing his bony hands. "Master Theo is not just Theo now. He is the new Head of Nott Manor. We elves is feeling the Wardmaster changing. You is </span>
  <span>
    <em>Lord</em>
  </span>
  <span> now, Master Theo."</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Theo would burn this Manor down if he had another place to live.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>_____________</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>It's right before he's about to sleep, that Bobsy comes back.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>"Master Theo?" he says, holding up something that looks like a torn parchment in his hands. "Bobsy is finding this in the pocket of old Master Nott's robes."</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Theo's out of the sheets before he knows it, hand reaching out to grab the yellowing parchment, his eyes betraying open shock -</span><br/>
<br/>
<span>His mouth falls open as he reads the parchment with shaky hands, mouthing the words over and over. They make sense, but they don't, they don't, they </span>
  <span>
    <em>can't, </em>
  </span>
  <span>it's </span>
  <span>
    <em>not</em>
  </span>
  
  <span>
    <em>possible -</em>
  </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>Theo stumbles on his bed, and Bobsy looks at him awkwardly before telling him, "Bobsy will be back with tea!" and disappearing.</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>On the dirty scrap of parchment, clearly torn out of somewhere in a hurry, written with an almost drying quill, are quite possibly </span>
  <span>
    <em>his Father's last words to him.</em>
  </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>It says on the parchment - paradoxically, bewilderingly, shockingly, </span>
  <span>
    <em>nonsensically</em>
  </span>
  <span> - it says,</span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span><em>your mother isn't dead</em></span><br/>
<span><em>she ran away</em></span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<span>______________</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>check out my other works if you liked this ;)<br/></p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>any <em>rare</em> pair requests for ron or hermione?  i could use romione but it sorta spoils the theme, ig</p></blockquote></div></div>
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